did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Randomize
