what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
