we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
