That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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