i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
love makes seman taste better
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Randomize
