So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
