The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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