shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
