I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
