I just made out with a guy for $7.
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Randomize
