____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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