I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
