thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
