it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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