im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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