so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
