what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
