I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Randomize
