Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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