I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
