i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
