Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I think my vagina is haunted
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
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