There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Randomize
