Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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