so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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