True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
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