Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
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