my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
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