their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
