I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
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