So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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