He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Randomize
