No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
