Soap is not a condiment
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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