So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
