Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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