We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
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