The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
