If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
not ubering you a puppy
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
