Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Randomize
