Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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