Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize
