i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
