So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
