Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Randomize
