And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
