Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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