ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
