we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Randomize
