I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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