check it out our google latitudes are spooning
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Randomize
