Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
