Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Randomize
