I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
